« Being an Iranian Woman...Being a Woman | Main | You are Iranian, right? »

Sunday Night Wonders

Sometimes too many things happen over a short period of time in a person’s life. It’s interesting. I mean there are days, for instance, that you could experience so many emotions, incidents and changes. Those experiences don’t have to be outrageous, tragic or anything like that. They could simply be routine experiences that turn into life changing experiences and observations. I had a few of those days these past couple of weeks. It’s been only two weeks…And yet I feel at least a couple of years older. I feel as though so much has changed and that things are shifting towards me becoming an independent individual more than before.

True, I am not alone. Every one of us experiences individual and even private things in our lives. Those are what make our lives ‘our life’. Well, I, too, have been experiencing individual things! And lately I have been observing my life, gradually splitting off from my family and old friends.

Let me put it this way…These days, I imagine myself as a traveler on a hiking trip, sitting in a rest stop. I am sitting there, having a cup of tea and delicious chocolate cake and preparing myself for the rest of the trip. My fellow hikers, though, are kissing me goodbye. This is where we take off and continue towards our own individual destination. It is a different feeling to continue this journey without the company of other old fellow travelers. It is at times fearful to thing to imagine the rest of this journey considering the absence of old fellow hikers and the presence of some new yet to be known hikers.

Weird. I don’t even know what I am talking about. I mean, I do…I just don’t know how to explain it to you. I guess the bottom line is that very soon it’s about the time for me to emotionally and financially be on my own. And man, it’s scary. I know that so many people in this world are forced to become independent very early on in their lives. But I have had the opportunity to be able to emotionally rely on the family and friends and financially I have been almost fully supported by my family.

But now the situation is so that I have to find new ways to be emotionally motivated and also soon enough financially I will have to be fully on my own. Emotionally speaking, I feel that my parents and my sister have to face their own numerous problems right now and my friends, too, have started different journeys in their lives one way or another. And, I, too, can’t hold onto history. In a way, the world is sending me hints of all kinds to tell me that I have to start a new stage and I have to work on myself, my habits and my goals as a person and as an individual. This is what I mean, when I say people are kissing me good-bye.

I have faith in me. I have a feeling that I will be fine. On the other hand, though, I must admit I am scared and I know that I have to work very hard. There are hard and exciting times ahead of me, indeed! How about you? Do you remember the day that you felt that way? Were you scared, too? Were you, too, hopeful?

Post a comment